About ten days ago I stumbled across an article online with the interesting title of The Five Most Common Life Regrets (As Told By People Who Are Dying). Being a pastor a title like that just catches my attention. I’ve been on three trips away from home this month and so I set that article aside until I had some time to read it. Now having done so I want to share a few thoughts on the regret that was identified as the top one, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, and not the life others expected of me.”
First, I get the basic idea that is expressed in this regret. It is the idea of coming to the end of one’s life and seeing what perhaps could have been, had it not been for setting those desires aside in order to pursue what others felt one’s life should be. Desiring “A” but turning from it to pursue “B”.
Second, the regret notes that the primary reason the “true life” was not pursued was a lack of courage to challenge or refuse the idea that the life desired by others was the way to go. I may be reading something into this that isn’t present but I expect that the reason a person desires one life but pursues a different one has a great variety of things involved besides simply the courage to say “no” or to step out on one’s own path. Courage, yes, but also determination, desire, aptitude, and judgement, to name a few other factors.
Third, the stated regret is framed as if there were only two choices, a life true to oneself or the life expected by others. I want to suggest a third choice. A better choice. A life pleasing to God.
The problem with being true to oneself is that we humans are, by nature, rabidly in pursuit of the wrong things, all of the time. The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah wrote:
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; Who can understand it?”
John Calvin’s spin on the same basic human weakness is this: “…man’s nature, so to speak, is a perpetual factory of idols.”[1]
Ouch!
There was a time in my life when I would have thought the sentiments of Jeremiah and Calvin were nonsense. Now, praise God, I understand the truth of their words a bit more clearly everyday.
So what does my proposed third way look like? How does one live a life pleasing to God? For that I don’t think there is any more clear and concise answer than the one given in the first question-and-answer of the Westminster Shorter Catechism:
Q.1. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.
If I make the purpose of my life to glorify God then it will be hard to go wrong in the details, and as I see the end draw near I won’t be looking back at what could have been nearly as much as I’ll be looking forward at what is yet to come. To enjoy God in His glory, forever. Amen.
Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
[1] John
Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, I.11.8.
Photo credit: File:Diagram of the human heart (cropped).svg - Wikimedia Commons
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Very eloquent, and wize. Butcept being caught between religion and science and my Dad,s no belief in religion but cash to support his family. Life had a different twist. Is there a God?
ReplyDeleteYou bring up a number of interesting things here. First, religion and science aren't exactly enemies that are constantly in combat. There was a time, just a few centuries ago, when theology was the Queen of the sciences. Alas. As to your dad's lack of belief in religion, personally, doesn't mean that there is not a set of religious ideas that are true and merit being believed. And, yes, there is a God. You've got my contact info and let's continue this conversation.
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